Am I Overreacting About His Porn Use

You are not crazy. You found patterns that do not line up with honesty. This is your instinct staying online when everything around you feels weird. The Pew Research study from 2024 says 58% of adults say phone privacy has caused relationship conflict. That means your body is not inventing things.

What overreaction feels like, and what it is not

Overreaction is panic with no proof. Your brain is doing none of that if you already saw repeated weirdness and then felt dismissed. His first move matters more than your emotion.

Gaslighting signs to notice before you spiral

Gaslighting often sounds like this: he says you are controlling, then acts like his secret screen habits are normal. He may call you dramatic, then say you are paranoid, and finally accuse you of trying to create drama. That sequence is not a conversation, it is control.

What you are actually seeing

If he clears his history, gets tight when you ask for simple context, and flips one of your legitimate questions into a character attack, trust the sequence. It's not a clean accident. You are noticing a pattern where your boundaries are not being honored.

If you are still trying to decide if you're being too sensitive, check why people use social comparisons to avoid their own behavior. They are often doing the opposite of what that line suggests.

What to say when he says, not now, you're wrong

The line you want is short: "I'm not asking for a debate. I'm asking for honesty." Keep it plain. No sermon. No accusation. Just the line and a hard reset of the topic.

If you want clarity before you decide anything, there are ways to get it. For tonight, do one thing first: stop repeating yourself and write down exactly what he did, when, and what changed.