Betrayal Trauma Self-Assessment

If you recently discovered that your partner has been using porn, OnlyFans, or other sexual content secretly, you may be experiencing something deeper than hurt feelings. This self-assessment will help you understand whether your reactions align with recognized betrayal trauma symptoms.

Please note: This is not a clinical diagnosis tool. It is for educational purposes only. Your results can help guide a conversation with a qualified therapist, but they do not constitute a medical or psychological diagnosis.

How This Works

  • 1.15 questions based on clinical betrayal trauma research
  • 2.Answer honestly based on how you have felt in the past 2 weeks
  • 3.Your answers are completely private and never stored or shared
  • 4.Receive personalized guidance and resources based on your results
Question 1 of 150%

Intrusion Symptoms

I have unwanted images or thoughts about what I discovered.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this self-assessment a clinical diagnosis?

No. This self-assessment is for educational purposes only. It is based on published clinical criteria for betrayal trauma (Steffens & Rennie, 2006) and APSATS partner trauma research, but it cannot replace a professional evaluation. If your score indicates significant symptoms, please seek a qualified therapist.

What is betrayal trauma?

Betrayal trauma occurs when someone you depend on for safety and security violates your trust in a fundamental way. When a partner secretly uses porn or OnlyFans, the discovery can trigger PTSD-like symptoms including intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, emotional numbness, and physical stress responses. It was first described by Dr. Jennifer Freyd and has been adapted for relational contexts by researchers like Dr. Barbara Steffens.

Can betrayal trauma cause physical symptoms?

Yes. Betrayal trauma frequently causes physical symptoms including nausea, chest tightness, loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping, headaches, and fatigue. These are your body's stress responses and are well-documented in clinical literature. They are not imagined and they are not a sign of weakness.

How long does betrayal trauma take to heal?

Healing timelines vary significantly. With professional support, many women begin to notice symptom improvement within 3 to 6 months. Full recovery - meaning a restored sense of safety and self-trust - can take 1 to 3 years depending on the severity of the betrayal, whether the partner is actively in recovery, and the quality of therapeutic support.

What kind of therapist should I see for betrayal trauma?

Look for a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) or an APSATS-trained therapist. These professionals are specifically trained to understand partner trauma in the context of compulsive sexual behavior. A general couples therapist without this training may inadvertently minimize your experience or push premature forgiveness.

This assessment is based on clinical research by Dr. Barbara Steffens, Dr. Jennifer Freyd, and the APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists) model of partner trauma.

If you are in crisis, please call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line).