Is It Controlling to Not Want My Boyfriend to Watch Porn

You are not controlling for wanting to be treated with real honesty. You are not asking for a court order, you are asking for a real partner. Relate UK found phone secrecy is the number two reason couples seek counseling, after infidelity. Your gut is reading this correctly.

Direct answer, no guilt loop

No, you are not controlling. If you are asking for transparency and mutual respect, that is your relationship boundary. The guilt trick starts when he labels that boundary as jealousy, jealousy as proof he loses control, and then calls you possessive.

Why secrecy makes this feel heavier

The issue is usually not the device itself. It is the gap between what he says and what he does. He may promise openness in one sentence and lock everything in the same minute.

Keep your language clear and small: "I need honesty, not surveillance." That sentence is not a command. It is a condition for emotional safety.

If you want a practical frame, read why people hide private browsing in the first place. It gives clues about motive, not morality.

Close the loop before it closes on you

If you want clarity before you decide anything, there are ways to get it. The right way here is to stay concrete, call the behavior specific, and never let him trade definitions for your voice.